Introduction1

What Is In a Name?2

When Does Cybersex Become Compulsivity?3

Creating Sexual Health, Offline and Online5

The Ten Components of the Sexual Health Model5

Keeping the End in Mind7

Structure of the Assignments8

A Program of Integrity9

How (NOT) to use this book10

Discernment10

Additional Resources11

The Importance and Limits of Confidentiality and Risk of Disclosure11

Disclosure to Partners12

Stage 1: The Problem Identification Stage13

Immediate Short-Term Prevention Plan13

Your List of Red Zone Behaviors15

Do I Have a Problem with Cybersex?19

Internet Sex Screening Test19

What is Problematic Behavior?21

Internet Sex Screening Test Scoring Directions23

Talking About Sex24

Offline and Online Sex History27

Internet Sexual Behavior Timeline34

Types of Online Sexual Users - Who Are You?37

Recreational Cybersex Users37

Sexual Harassers38

Problematic Cybersex Users38

Tracking Your Behavior: Internet Activity Log40

Revealing the Problems: The Acting-Out Cycle42

Power of Thought45

The Psychology of the Internet48

Thinking Errors48

List of Frequent Thinking Errors50

Your Primary Thinking Error51

Identifying Your Primary Thinking Error52

Feeling Triggers57

High-Risk Situations59

Payoffs—Why Have Sex?61

Acting-out and Other Compulsive Behaviors65

Sexual Avoidance65

Chemical Dependency66

Eating Disorders68

Gambling69

Spending69

Compulsive Working70

Putting it all Together — Behavioral Analysis71

The Process of Change and the Role of Relapse73

Stage 2: Primary Treatment: Related Topics75

Culture and Stereotypes77

My Cultures and Stereotypes77

Feelings of Shame and Guilt84

Sexual Identity and Sexual Orientation87

Sexual Functioning94

What is Sexual Functioning94

General Types of Dysfunction Issues96

Sexual Functioning and Development of Sexual Skills98

Sexual Health Care and Safer-Sex Issues102

Barriers to Sexual Health106

Mental Health Factors106

Treatment for Mental Health Issues112

Types and Impact of Abuse115

Sexual Violence118

Indicators of Abuse118

Personal Victimization History120

Recovery from Abuse121

Other possible barriers to sexual health122

Body Image129

Fantasy and Masturbation133

Masturbation133

Fantasy137

Sexually Explicit Material141

Positive Sexuality144

What is Positive Sexuality?144

Assertive Communication145

Boundaries148

Sexual Behavior and Expression151

Intimacy and Relationships158

Desire for Intimacy158

Touch/Physical Intimacy164

Barriers to Intimacy165

Dating and Sexual Health167

The Language of Relationships169

Relationship Satisfaction169

Healing from Past Relationships171

Steps in Building the Sexual Relationship173

Types of Relationships175

Finding a Relationship Therapist179

Disclosure to Partners180

Spirituality, Values and Sexual Health185

Barriers to Spirituality185

Sin is doing something wrong; Hell is staying in something wrong.185

Power of Story186

Stage 3: Setting the Next Step194

Continuing Care Plan194

Your Plan for Sexual Health in an Electronic World203

Review and Repeat205

Thank You205

Additional Resources207

Endnotes208