Living a Life I Love Table of Contents

Introduction to the Workbook1

A Typical Day in the Office1

What Is in a Name?2

Defining Sexual Compulsivity2

Creating Sexual Health3

The Ten Components of the Sexual Health Model4

Treatment Approach5

Structure of the Assignments6

Keeping the End in Mind7

A Program of Integrity9

Additional Resources9

The Importance and Limits of Confidentiality and Risk of Disclosure10

Stage 1: The Problem Identification Stage11

Topic 1: Immediate Short-Term Prevention Plan11

Topic 2: Talking About Sex13

Topic 3: Sex History15

Dating and Relationship Behavior16

Sexual Behavior16

Masturbation18

Fantasy18

Technology18

Health Concerns19

Abuse19

Children19

Legal20

Other Patterns of Sexual Behavior20

General20

Topic 4: Sexual Behavior Timeline21

Sample Time Line22

Topic 5: The Acting-Out Cycle23

Setups24

Relationship Between the Components25

Topic 6: Power of Thought25

Topic 7: Thinking Errors28

Summary of Your Current Thinking Errors32

Topic 8: Primary Thinking Error33

Identifying the Primary Thinking Error33

Topic 9: Feeling Triggers36

Summary of Your Current Feeling Triggers37

Topic 10: High-Risk Situations38

Summary of Your Current High-Risk Situations41

Topic 11: Payoffs—Why Have Sex?42

Levels of Payoff42

Summary of Your Current Payoffs for Sexual Behavior44

Topic 12: Behavioral Analysis45

Instructions46

Topic 13: Logging your Sexual Behaviors and Fantasies48

Topic 14: Acting-out and Cross-Addiction/Compulsivity50

Sexual Avoidance50

Chemical Dependency50

Eating Disorders52

Gambling54

Spending54

Compulsive Working55

Other Forms56

Stage 2: Primary Treatment: Related Topics57

Topic 15: Culture and Stereotypes59

Racial Culture60

Ethnic Culture61

Religious Culture61

Age61

Sexual Orientation62

Gender62

Socioeconomic Status62

Topic 16: Mood Disorders -- My Feelings Are Out of Control65

Depression66

Bipolar/Manic Depression67

Anxiety70

Types of Anxiety71

Treatment for Mood Disorders72

Topic 17: Feelings of Grief75

Topic 18: Feelings of Anger78

Strategies for Coping with Anger79

Anger as an Issue for Follow-up80

Topic 19: Feelings of Shame and Guilt81

Topic 20: Sexual Identity and Sexual Orientation84

Four Components of Sexual Identity84

Sexual Orientation85

Stages of Identity Development86

Men Who Have Sex with Men: Not All Gay-Sex-Is-Gay87

Bisexuality88

Barriers to a Healthy Sexual Identity88

Topic 21: Intimacy90

Types of Intimacy90

Touch/Physical Intimacy95

Barriers to Intimacy96

Topic 22: Types and Impact of Abuse98

Physical Abuse98

Sexual Abuse98

Emotional Abuse99

Overt and Covert Abuse99

Abuse and Neglect100

Sexual Violence100

Behavioral Indicators102

Emotional Indicators102

Personal Victimization History103

Topic 23: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder104

Connection to the Acting-Out Cycle105

Topic 24: Abusive Behaviors Toward Others106

Topic 25: Use of the Internet and Other Technology107

Topic 26: Sexually Explicit Material110

Topic 27: Body Image111

Developing a Healthy Body Image113

Topic 28: Masturbation115

Topic 29: Fantasy116

Topic 30: Sexual Behavior and Expression120

Unhealthy Sexual Behaviors121

Healthy Behaviors122

Topic 31: Safer-Sex Issues124

Topic 32: Assertive Communication127

Topic 33: Boundaries128

Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries130

Topic 34: Sexual Functioning132

Topic 35: Relationship Satisfaction135

Healing from Past Relationships135

Forgiving the Other Person136

First Steps in Building the Sexual Relationship137

Next Steps in Building the Sexual Relationship138

Type of Relationships139

Topic 36: Disclosure to Partners142

Topic 37: Spirituality, Values and Sexual Health146

Integration: Developing a Personal Spirituality148

Stage Three: Groundwork for Completing Treatment151

Topic 38: Continuing Care Plan152

High-Risk Situations153

Thinking Errors155

Feeling Triggers158

Bottom Line Behaviors160

Topic 39: Creating Your Future162

Topic 40: Toward a Personal Definition of Sexual Health166

1. Talking About Sex167

2. Culture, Values and Stereotypes168

3. Sexual Anatomy and Functioning169

4. Sexual Health Care and Safer Sex170

5. Challenges and Barriers to Sexual Health170

6. Body Image170

7. Masturbation, Fantasy, and Sexually Explicit Material171

8. Positive Sexuality172

9. Intimacy and Relationships174

10. Spirituality, Values and Sexual Health175

A New Beginning: Continuing the Conversation176

Review and Repeat176

LivingaLifeILoveBooks.com176

SexualHealthInstitute.blogspot.com176

Appendix A: Integration with the 12-steps178

Partial Bibliography and Endnotes180